Tracy & Erik’s Adoption Profile – An Open or Closed Adoption – The Choice Is Yours
If you are reading this and considering making an adoption plan, please know that we would be completely agreeable to either an open or closed adoption. We have had some experience with both, and I’ll explain what I mean. When we adopted our nine-year-old son Colby, it was a closed adoption. Colby was born in the middle of the night on a Thursday. By that afternoon, Colby’s birthmother worked with a social worker in the hospital and chose us by looking at our portfolio/photo album. Later that afternoon, we got a call from the social worker saying that we had been chosen. We were at the hospital to get him the next Friday morning. We had no contact with Colby’s birthmother at any point. We did agree to send letters and pictures annually to the adoption agency for fowarding to Colby’s birthmother.
Now I’ll explain how we have had a little bit of experience with an open adoption. Last summer, we received a phone call from our agency saying that a birthmother wanted to meet us in person. This particular birthmother had chosen us and one other family, and she was planning on meeting both of us. The visit took place in the offices of our adoption agency with social workers present along with the birthmother and her family. Trush me when I say that no one was more nervous than we were. We worried that we wouldn’t say the right things, and we also worried what the right things to say actually were. At the same time, we also wanted to convey that we were human and certainly far from perfect. It was a positive visit for everyone, including us, and it helped the birthmother to make her decision. In the end, we were not chosen. We completely respected her very difficult decision and fully understand that it was completely about the couple that made her feel the most at ease and at peace. While we had no other contact after that visit, we think of her often and hold her in high regard for the choice she made – we know that it was not easy on many levels.
I share this story in hopes of giving you a little firsthand experience with your decision to have an open or closed adoption of your baby. Again, we are agreeable to either direction you choose. I can tell you that we will love, cherish, adore, and bond with your child in ways I am unable to even put into words if we are given the honor of being parents for your baby.