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Originally published December 27, 2017
Writing this from a hotel on the way home from Kentucky – yay for good family visits!
tl;dr summary – adoption outreach trips lots of issues, modern dating seems sorta insane, and we’re leaving outreach fliers across several states as we drive back home.
During the trip, Susan and I were reminded of yet one more reason we could not be single now: one of the methods we are using for outreach is an app and website which provides a way for prospective parents to post photos and a blurb, which can then be read and basically swiped left/right by expecting mothers or couples.
This is an absolutely ideal concept for folks with any sort of social discomfort, anxiety, etc…
We needed a picture – which do we use? I like *this one* but Susan’s looking down… We think it’s sweet, but what if someone looks and gets a Handmaid vibe? And oh CRAP! I’m wearing my glasses and they are transitions lenses and we were outside when the pictures were taken, so it looks like I’m wearing sunglasses… will they think I’m some schmuck always wearing sunglasses, like a middle aged collar-popping jerky-mcjerkface?
Then we had 500 words to describe ourselves – no pressure, just come up with a summary of our life histories, history as a couple, hopes, fears, dreams, and plans for a future with a child, in 500 words. Oh, and it should be catchy, something that will help us stick out. *What in the world does that mean*? Well, let’s be funny. No, then we’ll seem flippant. Okay, let’s be super-serious. No, then we’ll seem like awful, boring disciplinarians. It’s 500 words, though, so that’s a decent amount of room.. and hey, I *think* I’ve gotten as far as describing us as a couple and we have…. ummm… 180 words left. Ha. Hahahahaha. So, let’s start over….
…and so on…
And all of this, coupled to an enormous sense of THIS MAY DECIDE WHAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE LOOKS LIKE, SO DON’T BLOW IT. ALSO, HERE IS A LIST OF CHARACTER FLAWS THAT WILL BE EVIDENT TO ANYONE READING YOUR WRITEUP.
Seriously, no pressure. <insert slightly maniacal laughter, here> <<internal meta-commentary: dude, you don’t want to sound like you are insensitive to mental health issues – is “maniacal” a problem there? No, it’s probably fine. Why can’t I leave those thoughts alone? Is this the sort of parent I’l be? Does even mentioning mental health stuff open up a whole crazy panoply of problems? Dude, what’s with “crazy”? Not cool, man, not cool, you’re just digging that hole deeper. Now you’re really working that whole coming-across-like-a-schmuck-thing again.>>
So, we are working hard to be encouraging to each other and not obsess over checking the app and our emails to see if we have any more likes or contacts, as well as to try and be positive.
Good news, we’ve left a sprinkling of outreach fliers in our wake – with holiday travel, hopefully they will get a lot of eyeball traffic.
When we get home, I think I’m just going to put something soothing on a loop. Maybe Rainbow Connection.