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I hope you had a marvellous Mother’s Day! It can be a difficult day for so many reasons, especially on this adoption journey.
I remember, years ago, that Mother’s Day was so hurtful and depressing for me. It seemed so unfair that all these women had children and we didn’t. I once cried to Michael that I couldn’t even look at a pregnant woman on the street without feeling anger and resentment. We wanted children so badly. What was wrong with us that we couldn’t have that?
Slowly, I started to see mothering very differently. You can act like a mother without having given birth. We have a great friend with two teenage children. They love to come to us and ask our advice. Share stories about their lives. I am not their mother, but I can love them – guide them – rejoice with them – and mourn with them.
Ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? I believe that is so true. My daughter has a special bond with other women. She loves them and adores them. Sometimes she even claims she wants to go live with them. That does not make me less her mother. In fact, I rejoice in the fact that she has more love, more support, more guidance.
Some mothers give birth. Some wipe noses and change diapers. Some give advice and share stories. Some mothers are more like friends. Some just listen. Some teach. Sometimes the same person gets to do all those things and sometimes we need to share those roles.
While we are very lucky to have our daughter after six years of trying, I recognize that I will never give birth to another child. I’ve had to struggle sometimes to come to terms with that just like I’m sure you are or you will struggle with some things. You and I, we are both mothers. We both deserve the title and I’m looking forward to sharing next Mother’s Day with you!