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So, I thought I would write some of my thoughts on adoption. First of all it’s beautiful! It is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. However, it is also painful. The whole process is painful. Losing your ability to have children is like a death…you have to grieve it. It hurts in places I didn’t even know I had. The process of waiting for a baby is also painful, the unknowing and waiting is sometimes hard. Having a child is something you want desperately, but you have to wait. I often think of the flipside of the process. What birthmoms go through. I can’t imagine how painful that is! The heartache and the unknown for you must be fierce.
I am amazed though at how something that is so painful for two women can become something so beautiful! I will never forget when we got our daughter…we had waited for two years and finally we were placed with her! I remember going to pick her up and I was so full of anxiety and fear and excitement and joy! It was a mix of emotions to say the least! There were two things that happened when I walked into the room where our daughter was with her birthmom. First I was overcome with love for this precious little girl, second I was stunned by the love I had for this sweet woman who gave me a gift that I couldn’t do for myself. I loved her! I still do! She is a true mother in every sense of the word! She wanted her baby to have a life she couldn’t give her, what courage and unselfishness! She and I were able to talk and she expressed how much she appreciated what we were doing so that she could go to school and live the life she wanted to live. She wanted to become a nurse and she was so full of hope for her future. I was shocked because she didn’t need to thank us at all! We felt overwhelmed at the gift we had been given. The heartache of waiting for a sweet baby had ended and the word joy doesn’t even describe it.
As we ended our conversation together we hugged…really embraced. We both cried and it was a healing and sweet thing for both of us. We both talked of how we came together and helped put each other on a path of healing and hope.
I love adoption, with all the ups and downs of waiting. It is all worth it! I love that I am connected forever with a sweet woman that also experienced pain and heartache, I love birthmoms and their courage, strength and deep wisdom. Even though it can be hard it is one of the greatest experiences of my life and I can’t wait for the opportunity to experience it again.