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“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.”
~ Phyllis Theroux
When we started working with our adoption agency, they asked us if we would be willing to have an open adoption. Now there are many versions of open adoption, but at the least an open adoption means sharing information about the child through letters and photos. We committed to the agency and to ourselves that we would do this for at least 18 years in order to stay connected with the birth family.
We’ve been writing this blog since April (2017) and writing a blog at least every week. This process has helped us realized both how rewarding but also how challenging it is to keep this promise.
Sharing the details of our lives is fun and enjoyable. It is amazing to imagine you or a birth family reading this, falling in love with who we are and deciding to complete our family.
Staying in touch also makes sense for the child and for the birth family. If I was the birth mother, I would want to know how my child was, what they were doing, what they looked like, and so much more. We know that it is good for the child too. The child wants to know information about the birth family too, such as who do I look like, why am I good at math, how did I end up with this family and much more. That contact brings so many good things, but it is also a challenge. Have you ever been able to do something every week for 18 years? Even writing this blog, each week, days pass without me sitting down to write. I also have to remind myself as we participate in family activities to stop and take a photo so there will be a visual here. Life is crazy and messy. Things happen and people change. I don’t even know what kind of a relationship you want with us. But I promise you this, if you want an open relationship, we promise that no matter what life brings we will continue to share photos, videos, letters and stories with you for at least 18 years. You will be able to watch your child grow, learn and thrive if that is what you want.